Okay, I admit it. Husband made me use this title. But it’s true: I have been getting on top a lot more lately. If only I knew what to do once I got there.
You see, for the past 18 months, Shark Girl has been a bottom dweller. I started as the only female in my club. I have been routinely crushed and pancaked, flattened and steamrolled.
I have been muscled and maneuvered, manipulated and manhandled.
And now, a year and a half later, I feel pretty comfortable on my back, thank you very much. My legs wrap and wriggle with ease and my body twists in the correct angles to prevent an attack and facilitate an escape.
But put me on top . . . and I’m a newbie all over again.
Take this recent roll, which is indicative of many. In it, a new teacher-type rolls with me to assess my abilities.
- Teacher Type lets Shark Girl (SG) get on top.
- Shark Girl sits there and waits. Isn’t he going to do anything? How can I defend if he doesn’t do anything? SG thinks to herself.
- Shark Girl realizes Teacher Type wants her to attack.
- Shark Girl looks down at Teacher Type, catches a flailing arm, and then pauses . . . Now what am I supposed to do with this? I know there’s an armbar here somewhere! Do I have to get this from side or swing my leg over? Why can’t I just choke him? Oh, crap! I wish he’d sweep me already so I can get back on my back!
- After many awkwardly embarrassing moments of Shark Girl pressing herself against Teacher Type to hold him down and stare at him, SG confesses that she has no idea what to do.
- Teacher Type laughs and comments that Shark Girl’s teammates must beat the crap out of her.
- Teacher Type mercy-sweeps Shark Girl
- Shark Girl springs into action.
- Teacher Type says, “Wow—now you are in your comfort zone!”
- Shark Girl pulls a rad sweep and winds up on top . . .
Recently, probably due to the influx of like-sized women, I’ve started to catch some of these sweeps and get myself on top. Queen of the hill, if you will. Sounds great, right? But it’s a totally new experience for Shark Girl and I feel more like a flounder.