Saturday, September 20, 2014

Why Saulo is My Jiu Jitsu Boyfriend

Someone sent me this video of Saulo Ribeiro and it reminded me of why Saulo and I are secretly dating in my head. 
You can watch it for yourself, but I will give you Shark Girl’s highlights below, because, hey, isn’t that why you are reading my blog?


Saulo makes these points in the first few minutes:

Champions are those who get up and try to be better everyday.
It doesn’t matter how good you are; it matters what you are trying to do to get better. I believe this not only physically, but also for our mental and spiritual selves, in our jobs and in our relationships.

When we all put the gi on, what makes us different is our personalities.
My Secret Boyfriend goes on to say [around 2:02],
“ Today you can hide yourself behind money, you can hide yourself behind clothes, behind cars . . . but who you really are I’m gonna see as soon as I start to choke you, you know.”
It's talk like that that makes my heart skip a beat!!
 

I’ll be honest, Shark Girl’s mind starts to wander about half way through the interview. But that’s okay. Then I just concentrate on Saulo’s soothing voice. No need for yoga today!

Finally, I love the way Saulo talks about his competition. [6:30] He displays such profound respect. None of this low-brow trash-talking.

Given Saulo’s philosophy, it’s no wonder I see lots of women on his mat. Saulo is not pushing ego-trippin’ bro-culture. He is pushing discipline and respect. Those are things the ladies can get behind.




Saturday, September 13, 2014

What Shark Girl Has In Common with the London Sewer!

Husband came home the other day and said, “Have you heard about the fatberg in the sewers of London?” No, I hadn’t. Checking out the status of the London sewers is not on my daily to-do list.  
            “Well, let me tell you all about it!” said Husband, a little more fascinated than he should have been. “You see, they’re formed when people throw fat and wet wipes down their pipes.”
            “Oh, really? That’s nice . . . “ I nodded and smiled, half-listening, half trying to figure out 7-Down on the New York Time crossword puzzle.
            “Yes, and apparently those flushable wipes aren’t so flushable. The fat sticks to them, and then everything else sticks to that, all the waste and stuff, and it all forms a big blockage in the sewer.”
Yum!
            “Uh-huh …” Here goes Husband, demonstrating that “boy” fascination with poop. This morning 8-Year-Old Son had a sixteen-minute guffaw attack at the slight probability that there was diarrhea in a toilet. During breakfast, no less.
            “Yep. It was the size of a 747.”
            “Wait, what? I can’t use those flushable wipes anymore?” Reality was starting to hit me. I love those flushable wipes.
            “Yeah, not so flushable.”
            “Wait, but are people throwing the not-flushable ones down and that’s what’s causing the problem? Or are the flushable ones causing the problem?” I really love my flushable wipes, and it would be nice not to feel guilty using them.
Next they'll tell me I can't flush these!!
           “I don’t really know.”
           “Can they remove the fatberg?”
"Yeah, I guess they go in and unclog it.”
           
I think I understand how that sewer felt when they decided to Roto-Rooter it Terminator-style. You see, right now I am dealing with my kidneyberg, and it’s pretty much the same procedure. But my pipes are a lot smaller, and I’m a little more fleshy and have a few more nerve endings than a sewer pipe.

“Of course, you’ll be able to do whatever you want with the stent in,” the doctor said. “It may be a little uncomfortable, and you may bleed a little..”
            “Even contact sports?” I asked, hopeful not to miss out on too much jiu jitsu.
            “Even contact sports, as long as you are not in pain.”
So, with that, I got the stent in.

And let me tell you: doctors lie. To your face. And that is what I have in common with the London sewer. Neither of us can practice jiu jitsu right now. 

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Coming Soon . . .

Shark Girl will be back and as bad as ever! Never let me leave you again!

I know I've been a bad, bad girl. But I promise I will be back to choke you out very shortly. I've thought about you a lot over this past month or so. Oh, I know you don't believe me, but it's true. I'm sure you can't wait to hear my excuses, and what I have to say for myself. Just take me back, please, and I promise I will never leave again. I promise!

Oh, and your mother says "Hi."

Shark Girl Faces a Change

It is a turning point for Shark Girl. I haven’t written in a while. When I was a white belt, everything was new and curious. And being ...