I need your jiu jitsu therapy again, o vast and all-knowing readers.
About a year Before Covid (BC), my native gym closed down--the one where I trained from a lowly white belt, made great friends, and found my stride.
Eight months BC, I decided on a new gym. I worried that I wouldn't fit in. I was a brown-belt, dare I say over-promoted by my laissez-faire gym environment that focused more on training consistently with pals then going for the gold. To be sure, I welcomed a more challenging environment. I wanted to improve. I set my ego off the mat, tied on my brown belt (because it's rude not to), and hopped into a competition-focused gym. I gave it my all until covid.
I went to every class, stayed until the end and, despite getting home late, took copious notes on techniques, drills, even the partners I was rolling with. I wanted to make this work.
My new coaches were great teachers. They had solid techniques that were not super flashy but worked. They gave me some good advice to improve. And then . . .
Covid hit.
This isn't a story about covid. So I'll just skip along to the After Covid (AC) period.
I went back to classes this summer, ready to pick up where I left off. My goal was to get better with each class and not worry about my belt, how I compare to others--all that shit. I'm fifty-one after all. I just want to have some fun with a sport I love.
But now I am realizing that, every class, I feel like a disappointment to this group. I feel like they are embarrassed that they inherited a brown belt that isn't up to their standards. Honestly I feel like it would be a load off their shoulders if I leave.
So, I think that's what I am going to do. There is one other gym in the area that I am looking into for a little later, Post Delta (PD), or whatever variant comes along. (My family is covid shy, so I might as well wait.)
Other than that, a buddy of mine has a few mats and we are going to roll intermittently. If you have any other ideas, I am open.
Those of you who have been reading along know how hard I have fought against leaving jiu jitsu. I hope this is not the end. But if it is, it's been a good ride.
covid is the most lethal weapon on this centaury
ReplyDeleteI hope you haven't quit. I basically quit BJJ long before Covid, for a variety of personal reasons... but I'm thinking of starting again, and so I started looking at my blogging friends' blogs. Hope you are happy where you are training!
ReplyDeleteHi Georgette, many months later! I am so excited you have started again. I have had a big year, and so I am still on "hiatus." I keep thinking that I will continue at some point. I'm not quite ready yet, for many reasons. So good to hear from you!
DeleteShark Girl! It's Georgette! I'm back to training and blogging, both... and how sad I am that you stopped in the middle of this story. I hope you'll email me and get back in touch-- georgettejitsu @ gmail.com
ReplyDeletestill at it?
ReplyDeleteHi Dale, I am taking a big hiatus. Thanks for asking. Hope all is well with you!!
DeleteI hope you managed to find somewhere that fit! It would be a real shame to leave at brown belt, especially as you're awesome. Most importantly, you can't stop training, because I haven't rolled with you yet! ;P
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, as you can tell given I'm responding almost two years later, I have been veeeeeeeery lax about keeping up with blogs. Both reading and writing.
Hi slidey! So good to hear from you, old friend. Let's say I'm still on "hiatus" as Georgette calls it. I am still hopeful we will train someday, too. You will beat me happily because I will be terrible from lack of practice, plus geriatric.
DeleteWow this post was from two years ago already? I hope you found a new place to train, or started enjoying the place you were already training at a little more. If you're no longer training jiu jitsu, hope you are feeling fulfilled in other areas of life instead! I always enjoyed reading your blog.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very sweet post. Thank you. I am not yet back to training. I actually have been focusing more on family. So, that has been very fulfilling.
DeleteShark Girl, I hope you have a chance to get back on the mats! The last gym did not deserve you. I had been on a grappling hiatus since right before COVID, but finally I'm back and it feels so good!
ReplyDeleteHi!!!! Thank you so much for the encouragement. I am glad that you are back on the mats. I thought I might get back this summer, but life got away from me.
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