It’s not that I was a crazy submission machine. Not even
close. It’s not that I got every move right, or showed technical chops that
would make German engineers proud. No, it was none of those things at all. But
tonight’s class rocked.
For the first time since my injury six months ago, Shark
Girl felt back. I rolled round after
round, not worrying about submissions, just working my game. Trying to weasel
out of stuff, trying to put my opponent in a bad position, and just maneuvering
from where I was. It felt great. I felt–dare I say it?–almost back to my old Shark ways. At the end of the night, I
collapsed on the mat. flail-armed and exhausted, sporting loose and limber
joints that allowed me to do back flips in celebration of an evening well
spent.
Gratuitous cute cat photo |
In the three months I have been back to training, I have had
doubts. Maybe my time is up. Maybe I can’t
go any further in my practice. Maybe this jiu jitsu thing has run its course.
Returning to the mat has been like meeting an old
friend that I used to know really well, like in college, but we have drifted
apart. There’s not much to say except to reminisce about how things used to be.
Then we say goodbye and I get a Christmas card to remind me that Friend was
once an important part of my life, and look
how her children have grown! It always works the same with me and those
friends—it’s hard for me to live in the past, and I’m not really good at
maintaining friendships. I have admitted that many of my old friendships are
things of the past.
But tonight. I belonged on that mat tonight. Tonight I was
creating new memories and having new experiences and jiu jitsu was a vital,
necessary part of my life. Just the way I like it. I suppose it can stick
around for a while. We’ve got a lot to talk about, the two of us.
Of course, I am still vigilant about my injured limb. I
probably will be for a long time.
Yeah, it's really hard to get out of the habit of guarding a limb when you've had a long-term injury. My left groin still isn't right and any tweaks immediately make me paranoid. On the plus side, that probably forces me to be more technical, as I'm wary of putting any kind of strain on that side (e.g., lifting for sweeps, pushing for escape, pulling in certain positions, etc).
ReplyDeleteI agree--I notice that it forces me to be more technical, too. In the end I think it will improve my game, but it does make me apprehensive.
DeleteMain thing is picking your training partners carefully and always re-emphasising where you're injured before rolling. Training with little children also works quite well, as even if they go nuts they are unlikely to hurt you.
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