Well it is back to school and full confession:
Once again I did not meet my summer jiu jitsu goal.
My summer goal is always the same: more jiu
jitsu. And I always start off thinking I can accomplish this goal, plus run
more and finally organize my house and get my finances in order and finish up
all those half-started home projects. Wait!
Come to think of it, I didn't meet my other
summer goals, either!
It happens all the time . .
. grand expectations meet with the constraints of time and the reality of
running a household with two children. This summer, I think I did the least amount of jiu jitsu than I have at
any point in my jiu jitsu career.
Now it is fall, and all my
hopes of meeting any of those goals
are out the window. I have switched to my fall goal, which is also always the same:
Make work
A PART of my life, not my whole life.
This is a difficult goal
when you are a teacher. There are always lessons to plan, papers to grade,
curriculum to develop, colleagues to collaborate with, special projects to work
on, meetings to attend, personal interactions to reflect and improve upon. I've
had this same fall goal for 20 years and I've never met it, either. I am
foolish to think this will be the
year. But, I am always a fool. Every year. Every September, I am full
of hope—more a wish and prayer—that I can keep this year under control, in perspective. It is usually November
before I give it up for a lost cause and plunge myself into a darkness I do not
recover from until sometime in April, when the sun starts to warm my part of
the earth again.
| Or an ear bitten off? |
But then the children call.
And the house calls. And the family calls. And the unbalanced check book calls.
And the sun calls, too, and says, "Shark Girl, if you go to jiu jitsu you
will not see me. Why not run instead?" And then it turns 90 degrees and
humid and I do not want to do anything except sprawl on a couch and moan while
sweat inches down my limbs.
This is the cycle of life,
my friends. Moving from unrealized goal to unrealized goal. The turn of the
seasons never changes but always promises change. Maybe this is Shark Girl’s year! Maybe
this is the year I will do it all! I will be the bad-ass, super-mom jiu jitsu
mastering, life-changing educator with a solid financial future that I always
dream I can be!
As we say in Latin: dum spiro spero: while I am breathing, I
hope.
| Wow! With a quick Google Search, I found out just how many people have this saying tattooed all over their body. Not for the faint of heart! |
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