Yep. Last night. I let out an
expulsion of gas that echoed throughout the chamber, shook the walls, and was
finally absorbed by the mats. How embarrassing!
Others before me have done it, followed by
eruptions of laughter from the class. Usually it's the older
guy. Every once in
a while it is one of the younger dudes. Me, for my part, up until now, I have
only let out those ones that could be mistaken for a foot rubbing against the
mat, making a squeak. Should I say excuse
me? Or would that call attention to something that no one noticed anyway? Best
to let those go.
But last night was different. Last night, it was like a balloon
letting out a quick burst of air when some little kid spreads apart its lips to
annoy a roomful of partygoers. And of course I was in north -south. “Excuse
me,” I said sheepishly. It was clear I could neither ignore or deny this
one.
Now, I am always very careful on the mats. I do my best to hold my
sphincter tight. As a mom who pushed out two babies in less than fifteen minutes
a pop, sometimes things are not as . . . sealed . . . as we would like them to
be. But, Good Lord, I use all my muscles to keep it in! Sometimes I sacrifice
power moves and opportunities because I have to keep my “core” engaged. But
last night in drilling, I was committed to holding down my partner with my
upper body, and I had to jerk my leg away. There was only so much my core could
keep track of at one time. Kind of like when someone talks to me at the copier.
Look, I can make copies, or I can have an intelligent conversation. I cannot do
both, and if you make me, my brain will fart.
Last night, I was pulled in so many directions that I was not able
to hold in my body's brain fart. In fact, I never even suspected it was coming.
My partner, gracious even though his face was inches from the scene (scent?) of
the crime, remained professional and businesslike. We continued drilling the
move. I, however, decided to use slightly less power than before.
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