Saturday, January 1, 2011

Welcome, New Year! (or, "The Frilly Underwear Post")

I was not sure if I would make it this far in my bjj career. Six weeks! Of course, I have not been to class since Monday. Instead, I spent the holiday trolling for frilly underwear. I was advised that “one good frilly underwear post” could solve my Husband problem. So here goes.
Sometimes a girl can feel, well, manly when she spends her free time ground grappling. Can I get an “Amen!” if you know what I mean? Measuring success in a possible broken limb and risking various skin infections and bruises is not typically the domain of the feminine. I’m okay with that. I don’t wear make-up. You could say that I am “in touch” with my masculine side, that I’m “comfortable in my femininity.” (You could also say that I was the only girl in my high school’s Dungeons & Dragons club, however that would be embarrassing, and I would have to deny it.) But something about bjj makes me come home and want to put on my panties—yes, panties—the frilliest ones I have. And [gasp!] sometimes I wear a little lace surprise underneath my gi. I may be in a white, bleached robo-uniform, but underneath, it’s all Chantilly and bows, baby. A little piece of my femininity in hiding while I work on my arm bars. Is it that, being “one of the guys,” I need to remind myself that I’m still a girl? I am preparing for combat, not baking cookies. (I make a mean oatmeal chocolate chip, but that’s another story. . . .)
I considered doing a daily picture, a “frilly underwear of the day,” if you will. Wouldn’t that be exciting? Think of the increased blog traffic from people searching for randy pictures! You can all thank slidey, who reminded me that “less is more” and things once posted on the Internet are difficult to remove. I am also restrained by the fact that the scariest movies don’t show the horror happening, they leave it to your imagination. Once put down in words or pictures the emotion becomes quantifiable and thereby less horrific. For the same reason I will not be showing you my underwear. You can let your imaginations run wild. But it’s the best JC Penney has to offer, folks. Chew on that. In the meantime, I will revel in mixing gender stereotypes. It’s really a lot of fun.
Sparring partner update: my faux pas friend is quite wonderful. He choked me on Monday and said, “I owed you that!” I’m guessing we’re good.
New gi update: Loved my new Fenom gi. So did my classmates. They all wanted one, too. I had to break the news that it was “ladies only.”

17 comments:

  1. The first time one of my training partners saw my black fenom gi, he told me "That's a girl's gi". Uhmm, yeah, I am female.

    I understand the wanting to feel female, that's why I wear the bright pink mouth guard.

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  2. Hey, at least you're wearing underwear -- one of the girls who sometimes trains with us "forgets" hers occasionally and gives the boys a show. (I would be making excuses and running out the door, but then, I always leave my house wearing underwear in the first place...)

    @Laura: Awww, lovely awkward backwards boy compliments. Bless his little heart...

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  3. Holy crap, you are KILLIN me. That was hilarious. All is now revealed. Shark Girl is actually a gothy D & D playin', nerdaholic, newfound lacy dainties wearin' chiquita! LOL.

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  4. @Leslie: Um, you're kidding, right? Please say you are. That's disturbing. And awkward for all involved.

    @Dagney: Wow! I wish I were as exciting as you make me sound. : )

    @Laura: I'm glad I'm not alone. Love the bright pink mouthguard! I'm not ready to wear my pink on my sleeve (or in my mouth) in class yet. But when I am, watch out!

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  5. @Leslie, really? Forgets her underwear? Yikes!

    When I got a gi with ripstop pants I started wearing a pair of vale tudo shorts as well since the pants felt so slippery.

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  6. Not kidding. She really does. Nogi nights are the worst because she wears low-riding shorts, too.

    I wear a pair of UnderArmor shorts under everything. No peep shows from me!

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  7. @ Leslie - OMG!!! I'm with you on the UnderArmor shorts.

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  8. LOL, I don't give a sh*t if my underwear show-- I mean, a little, over the waistband, you know? I am an athlete. Men's underwear shows over their gi pants and no one has a heart attack. Especially when it's 100 degrees+ I refuse to add another layer. I won't wear my frilly best though, because the gi pants rub the lace to smithereens (as I discovered the hard way :( bye bye La Perla!! *snif*)

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  9. Hooray! Another D&D player! I just posted in my bjj blog that I need to sink more ability points into constitution (oh dear god I just spent a minute trying to remember what CON stood for) because as of now I'm sick too often! I have an 8 CON.

    My black panties always end up showing--and sometimes so does my back tattoo. I just wear regular black underwear, but I wish I had some of those shorts things people sometimes wear...or a singlet! :)

    @Georgette--you're my hero :)
    @Laura--NOOOOOO!!!

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  10. I just got a pair of fightergirls shorts. I've gotta say, absolutely no way I am not wearing the under armour shorts underneath. Maybe I'll get over my desire to pull my pants up to my bellybutton, doubt it though.

    @Georgette, I even wear a longsleeve rashguard under my gi all summer. My skin is too delicate, lol.

    @Dagney, where I grew up dainties means squares, tarts, cookies, etc. Quite the image of a dainty wearing girl

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  11. I do my best, but one time I thought my pants were going to come falling down after a particularly hard roll. It's almost enough to drive me to granny panties. Although, that could be more embarrassing...

    Then there was the time I thought my sports bra malfunctioned...thankfully it was my imagination. I waited the longest second and a half to come out of n-s and brush my hand over it to make sure things were in place.

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  12. I wear a sturdy and smooth one-piece tank style swimsuit underneath as the bottommost layer. I am not showing an inch of that belly flesh at my age, after having kids. :) Is this a no-no?

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  13. btw,, do women's grappling tights exist? I am looking for a pair, but seems like they only exist for men.

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  14. Hmmm...never heard of 'em, but a quick search of the Fighter Girl clothing store comes up with this.

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  15. I know it's older but this is still one of my favorite posts ever, and the inspiration for my latest entry :o)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Reese! And thanks for the shout out. : )

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