Sunday, June 24, 2012

Ruptured What? Part 2

Warning:
the following story contains “lady issues.”
If you can’t hack it, leave now.

One evening, Shark Girl started getting lady cramps.
            “Hmmm . . . that’s funny. It’s a little early for lady cramps,” Shark Girl said to herself. “Oh, well, maybe I’m wrong. These days I’m too busy to keep good track.”
            As the evening wore on, Shark Girl’s lady cramps got worse. “Better pop a few ibuprofen!” Shark advised herself, and the drugs soothed the pain for a while.
Ibuprofen is my answer to pretty much everything--lady cramps, migraines, boredom . . .
Later that night, Shark Girl besought Husband, “Honey, rub my lower back!” I hadn’t asked him that since I was in labor. Wait. Was I in labor? No, impossible. Shark Girl isn’t Peggy Olson from Mad Men. Shark Girl would know if she were pregnant.