As you know, Shark Girl prefers to remain anonymous. If you have been reading my posts, you also know that Husband can’t stop telling everyone everywhere about my new BJJ habit. Which is fine. He also tells everyone about my blog. Which is fine. Then he tells them my alias: I am Shark Girl. Which is not fine. Up until that very moment, Shark Girl remains anonymous.
So, not only does my attorney know my alias (helpful if anyone wants the movie rights to my story, Renzo and Shark Girl) but neighbors coming over on Christmas Eve told me my new haircut looks intimidating, and I hear passersby in the grocery store whisper, “There she is! That’s Shark Girl!” Okay, not that last part. But this next part is true and you will clearly see the bind I’m in once you read it.
As a good minister’s wife, I took the kids to church on Christmas Eve when our neighbors left for the evening. After the service, hot chocolate and cookies were served while parishioners mingled, exchanged pleasantries, and extended holiday greetings. As I stood in line for hot chocolate I espied a handsome couple with two children chatting in the corner. The husband looked familiar. Of course, if he’s a parishioner, he should. But something wasn’t right. I don’t recognize him from here, I thought. Is he another teacher that I work with or know from a professional situation? Or the parent of a student? All this staring at him took the notice of his wife.
“Oh, Honey,” she said, “This is Rev. X’s wife, [insert Shark Girl’s real name],” she said. And then it hit me. He was in my BJJ class. And his wife didn’t know we knew each other.
We looked at each other awkwardly. Wife said, “Do you two know each other?” After much more awkwardness, it was revealed that I was that lone woman in his BJJ class. I was the girl who had her husband in my guard on many occasions. I wasn’t sure how he felt about her knowing this. But more importantly, I realized that if Husband is outing Shark Girl, it brought home the possibility of my classmates reading my blog and knowing that I was writing about them.
“Well, that’s why you have to be careful what you write,” said Husband reprovingly.
“Well, that’s why I wanted to remain anonymous,” I reproached. “I didn’t want to worry about this. Thanks a lot.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll stop.”
But is it too late? This could really limit what I can talk about. I have a whole “frilly underwear” post that I’m just waiting for the right time to use. But if my high school students could potentially figure out that I’m Shark Girl, I can’t talk about my underwear or sex, or anything like that. Right now many of you are breathing a collective sigh of relief.
And then I started thinking. What is the protocol about writing about your classmates? I’ve read many of your blogs and you all relate matches and talk about your classmates. Many of you are not anonymous. What feedback do you receive? Have you ever had any problems? Please help Shark Girl. And if you are reading this and you know who Shark Girl is, please keep her anonymous!