I missed class tonight because Husband is teaching. I ate oatmeal chocolate chip cookies instead. Many cookies. No, I will not tell you the number. The ancient Romans believed that precise knowledge gave one power. One of my favorite Roman poets, Catullus (previously quoted in I Love and I Hate), wanted to scramble up the kisses he gives his girlfriend so that onlookers would not be able to cast the evil eye on them.
cum milia multa fecerimus
conturbabimus, illa ne sciamus
aut ne quis malus invidere possit
cum tantum sciat esse basiorum. Catullus V
When we’ve made many thousand [kisses]
we will mix them all up, so we won’t know them
or so that some bad person can’t hex [us]
since he knows there are so many kisses.
Pretty much you could substitute “cookies” for “kisses” and that’s how I feel. Imagine the hexing that could go on if you all knew my secret cookie amount? I can’t let that happen.
Some of you know the on-going saga of my husband and my push ups. Well, last night, we finally did it. We had a Push Up Off. After his disparaging comments about my push up technique, I have been working hard to go “nose to the ground.” I was ready.
Saulo was not available to judge, so I hand-picked my two boys for the job. Husband dropped to the ground. The boys counted. 4-Year-Old didn’t know that he was counting something and just kept rolling numbers on by. I had to focus on the real count, which turned out to be: 26.
I was pretty sure I could beat that, but it was going to be tough. I got in push-up position and focused on my form. Nose to the ground, I said to myself. I completed 15, 20. I started to slow down. 30. Whew! I stood up.
“You could do more,” Husband said.
“I wanted to be fair and keep your pace.” But he was right. I did another 10.
“I would be dizzy if I did more,” Husband admitted, beaming. “Good job!”
If I know Husband, while he is indeed proud that his wife beat him in push ups, he will be practicing. He likes to do that. On Wii, he plays when I’m not around to secretly beat my high score.
I am taking a chance letting out the exact number of push ups I did last night. I think it’s essential to our story. No good can come of knowing how many cookies I ate today. But hopefully this story can inspire ladies everywhere to topple their men at push ups. Many of you probably already do. Perhaps we could start a Push Up Revolution! Even if I don’t win, maybe I can burn off some of those thousands of cookies with a few extra reps.