I missed class tonight because Husband is teaching. I ate oatmeal chocolate chip cookies instead. Many cookies. No, I will not tell you the number. The ancient Romans believed that precise knowledge gave one power. One of my favorite Roman poets, Catullus (previously quoted in I Love and I Hate), wanted to scramble up the kisses he gives his girlfriend so that onlookers would not be able to cast the evil eye on them.
cum milia multa fecerimus
conturbabimus, illa ne sciamus
aut ne quis malus invidere possit
cum tantum sciat esse basiorum. Catullus V
When we’ve made many thousand [kisses]
we will mix them all up, so we won’t know them
or so that some bad person can’t hex [us]
since he knows there are so many kisses.
Pretty much you could substitute “cookies” for “kisses” and that’s how I feel. Imagine the hexing that could go on if you all knew my secret cookie amount? I can’t let that happen.
Some of you know the on-going saga of my husband and my push ups. Well, last night, we finally did it. We had a Push Up Off. After his disparaging comments about my push up technique, I have been working hard to go “nose to the ground.” I was ready.
Saulo was not available to judge, so I hand-picked my two boys for the job. Husband dropped to the ground. The boys counted. 4-Year-Old didn’t know that he was counting something and just kept rolling numbers on by. I had to focus on the real count, which turned out to be: 26.
I was pretty sure I could beat that, but it was going to be tough. I got in push-up position and focused on my form. Nose to the ground, I said to myself. I completed 15, 20. I started to slow down. 30. Whew! I stood up.
“You could do more,” Husband said.
“I wanted to be fair and keep your pace.” But he was right. I did another 10.
“I would be dizzy if I did more,” Husband admitted, beaming. “Good job!”
If I know Husband, while he is indeed proud that his wife beat him in push ups, he will be practicing. He likes to do that. On Wii, he plays when I’m not around to secretly beat my high score.
I am taking a chance letting out the exact number of push ups I did last night. I think it’s essential to our story. No good can come of knowing how many cookies I ate today. But hopefully this story can inspire ladies everywhere to topple their men at push ups. Many of you probably already do. Perhaps we could start a Push Up Revolution! Even if I don’t win, maybe I can burn off some of those thousands of cookies with a few extra reps.
congratulations! I might be able to beat you in the cookie battle - they are my junk food of choice.
ReplyDeleteExcellent. Were there any consequences for him after your momentous victory?
ReplyDeletehaha that's great!! me and my boyfriend have little competitive rolls here and there. they never happen in class either lol like this morning i caught him in a straight ankle while i was trying to get out of bed lol i still can't believe u did 30+ pushups whew
ReplyDeleteI can't believe it either! What is happening to me?!?
ReplyDelete@slidey: I am still in negotiations! I think the consequence should fit. He hates when I practice my bjj moves on him, so maybe I can force him to be my practice dummy.
@FM: Bring it, baby!
I once watched an ice cream eating contest. A friend of mine claimed that she could eat infinite amounts of Chocolate Chip Mint ice cream. Her friend's husband bet that he could eat more than her.
ReplyDeleteThey got 4 tubs of choco chip mint, 2 each. They thought full well they could eat all of it and finish it with no problem. Both of them got SO SICK after they SLOWLY finished their first tubs. Both ended up ralphing. My friend could only eat one tub. The husband only ate I THINK 1.5 tubs. They both regretted it.
Now, watermelon. I think I can eat infinite amounts of watermelon. I'm sure of it. ;)
Speaking of cookies...I reeeeally want the ginger snaps in my cupboard right now.
@Julia: My sister proudly claimed to have eaten 56 After Eights yesterday, although I guess those are pretty thin. I tend to have trouble not eating Party Rings if I've bought them and left them in range. I normally end up eating the whole packet once I start.
ReplyDeleteSo, if I could eat infinite anything, it would be them. Although I'd presumably lose all my teeth shortly afterwards due to all the sugar. ;)
We may have to set up a BJJ blogger eating contest!
ReplyDeleteI am so in if we do an eating contest!
ReplyDeleteAnd that is AWESOME on the push ups!
I'm doing push ups as my new years resolution. I don't know how many I could do back to back if I tried, but I do them with my feet up on the couch. I started at 10.... I did 10 everyday for the first week, the next week I did 11 ever day. I am up to 15 a day now... which isn't too bad... Though, I will eventually get up to 62 a day. LOL - I assume that won't be so bad though as I will have been doing them every day for a year. Or at least I hope. haha
And on a side note, I would eventually like to be able to do a one armed push up.
@Stephanie: I know it's possible. I could barely do 10 when I started in December.
ReplyDeletePush Up Update: I have started practicing to see how many I can do in 5-minutes including rest. I did 88 the other night. Tonight I did my 25 in class with some good speed. Husband and I haven't done a showdown recently, but I think I could still beat him!