Husband is making me post this. Husband said I had to because there are other women out there who need to know how long it will take before they feel comfortable. There are still times when I’m self-conscious because I’m the only girl. But I don’t feel like an outsider anymore.
Saturday afternoon after class I came home and said, “I feel like I’m a real class member.”
“What do you mean by that?” Husband said.
“Well, I don’t feel like a total loser, like people don’t want to roll with me anymore. I don’t feel like the ‘new girl’ that everyone’s waiting to see how long she’ll last.”
“That’s something,” he said.
When I started BJJ, Husband reminded me that to gain respect, you gotta show up. If you show up and make it important to you, people respect that. So, I’ve been showing up. I’ve been showing up for 3 ½ months. I finally feel comfortable most of the time—like I’m now a member of the group. I know that to get here, I’ve had to show up consistently and practice hard. I’ve battled muscle pulls and kidney stones and still showed up. I’ve had to be tough, not sensitive. I’ve had to be fierce, not timid. I’ve also had to be serious, but not too serious. After all, it’s so much fun.
I’m sure there are some places where women never feel accepted, or some women who felt at home right away. Do men feel like it takes some time to earn their place? I’d love to hear how long it took before you were comfortable at your gym.