Shark Girl spent Christmas Day over her Aunt and Uncle’s, the parents of Cousin of Shark Girl. We ate lots of great, hearty Italian-American food.
The next day, with bellies distended, Cousin and Shark Girl tried to find some BJJ near the hometown. The closest place open was an hour away. Yes, we made a “jookie” run. Without our respective spouses.
We also left them alone on New Year’s Eve Day to pursue our jiu-jicular behavior. When New Year’s Eve came, it was apparent that Husband and Cousin’s Wife were feeling a special bond . . . of neglect. They were now calling themselves “Jiu Jitsu Widows.”
We should have known better than to leave them alone with a computer while we sipped wine by the fire, discussing various chokes and joint locks. They interrupted us, smiling, and informed us that they had written Shark Girl’s next blog post. Oh, really? I thought to myself, Who do they think they are? I was feeling a little threatened. Then I thought, Oh, really?! They’re doing my job for me?! This is great!
And so here, together for the first time anywhere, I introduce to you . . . Husband of Shark Girl and Wife of Cousin of Shark Girl, otherwise known as “The Jiu Jitsu Widows.” (Please disregard any subtle resentment you detect in their post.)
Top Ten Things Jiu Jitsu Widow/ers Say About Your Habit
Hint: "What really goes on at that place?" is not in the top ten. (It's not even in the top 100!)
10) Getting arm-barred four times does not count as an excuse.
9) I'm always on my guard, why should I get in yours?
8) Find your own damn cup!
7) Oh, the guillotine choke again . . . not sexy.
6) Rash what?
5) No, I don't wanna roll, I'm cutting back on carbs.
4) No, there will not be a mat room in the new addition.
3) There must be a twelve-step group for gi addicts.
2) Not now honey, I'm tapped out.
1) I hope that's just staph and not MRSA.
BONUS: You may wear the gi in this family, but I wear the pants.