Thursday, January 12, 2012

The Jiu Jitsu Widows

 Shark Girl spent Christmas Day over her Aunt and Uncle’s, the parents of Cousin of Shark Girl. We ate lots of great, hearty Italian-American food.

 
The next day, with bellies distended, Cousin and Shark Girl tried to find some BJJ near the hometown. The closest place open was an hour away. Yes, we made a “jookie” run. Without our respective spouses.

We also left them alone on New Year’s Eve Day to pursue our jiu-jicular behavior. When New Year’s Eve came, it was apparent that Husband and Cousin’s Wife were feeling a special bond . . . of neglect. They were now calling themselves “Jiu Jitsu Widows.”

We should have known better than to leave them alone with a computer while we sipped wine by the fire, discussing various chokes and joint locks. They interrupted us, smiling, and informed us that they had written Shark Girl’s next blog post. Oh, really? I thought to myself, Who do they think they are? I was feeling a little threatened. Then I thought, Oh, really?! They’re doing my job for me?! This is great!
            And so here, together for the first time anywhere, I introduce to you  . . . Husband of Shark Girl and Wife of Cousin of Shark Girl, otherwise known as “The Jiu Jitsu Widows.” (Please disregard any subtle resentment you detect in their post.)

 ***

Top Ten Things Jiu Jitsu Widow/ers Say About Your Habit

Hint: "What really goes on at that place?" is not in the top ten. (It's not even in the top 100!)
 
10)  Getting arm-barred four times does not count as an excuse.
9)    I'm always on my guard, why should I get in yours?
8)    Find your own damn cup!
7)    Oh, the guillotine choke again . . . not sexy.
6)    Rash what?
5)    No, I don't wanna roll, I'm cutting back on carbs.
4)    No, there will not be a mat room in the new addition.
3)    There must be a twelve-step group for gi addicts.
2)    Not now honey, I'm tapped out.
1)    I hope that's just staph and not MRSA.

BONUS: You may wear the gi in this family, but I wear the pants.

7 comments:

  1. Out of interest, has anyone in the US heard of Frankie & Benny's? I'm assuming it's just a British chain, but they do what is apparently 'Italian-American' food. I don't know if it's authentic or not, but it's one of my favourite places to eat. So, it would be cool to go try the real thing once I finally make it out to the US. :)

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    1. Hey slidey, never heard of it. But if you're fishing for an invite for some good Ital-Amer. food when you hop the pond, you are very welcome. I can just see you now joining in our raucous dinnertime conversation. I'd have to take you there blindfolded, of course, but it would be a time. " )

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  2. Hah - I wasn't intending to fish, but I'll be sure to take you up on that. ;D

    This is the chain I'm talking about. They are very, very chain, with the same pictures on the wall, exact same decor, same music with their own series of croony CDs, etc (which are awesome, and I would totally buy if I didn't already have most of the songs and they weren't enormously over-priced).

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  3. I have to say, the 'bonus' one was definitely the best. Ha! Awesome.

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  4. You are so lucky to have your cousin as a partner in crime!

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    Replies
    1. That is so true! Wish he lived closer.

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