Thursday, January 5, 2012

Shark Girl Kisses Santa Claus!

Shark Girl is feeling cranky and curmudgeonly tonight. And yesterday. And the day before that. Even a good jiu jitsu workout didn’t really cure it. Wait. A good jiu jitsu workout? When did I have that last?

Oh, no. This can only mean one of two things: it’s either a) PMS, or b) the dreaded winter blues.* I started jiu jitsu last year in part to stave off these winter dips into melancholia. It seemed to work. Although I followed up with heavy doses of Vitamin D. I stopped the D this year because of the kidneyberg. Remember that? Yep, It’s still with me. Large and looming. And I think I feel some kind of . . . thing going on in the kidney region. I’ve been loading up on cranberry juice to keep that in working order.

Now would be a good time to buy stock in Ocean Spray.


But you don't want to hear about my health problems. You really want to know what I got for Christmas, since I dropped big (public) hints to Husband. Here’s what I swagged:

  • gift certificate for a massage
  • Saulo!!! (Saulo also played a part in our annual New Year’s Eve celebrity guessing game.)
  • Snarky Jiu Jitsu T-Shirt (Husband did not opt for profanity.)
  • a nail clipper (I have to try it before I rate it “great.”)
  • books off my Amazon Wish List (He can do that because he knows my real name.)
 I did not swag:
  • that portable mat
  • and the babysitter
  • the sports bra (Husband said he didn’t know what size to get. Really? The whole Internet knew what size to get me.)

Here is my evaluation of Husband’s holiday gift giving this year:

Creativity:   C-    He basically checked off my list. Everyone loves a gift registry, but let’s not pretend there’s any risk taking there.  

Resourcefulness:   A+     He found a jiu jitsu tee shirt in a woman’s size that did not say something like, “My Boyfriend Can Tap Your Boyfriend Out,” or “Babe of Mr. Jiu Jitsu” with nipple holes cut into the front. Rock on, Husband!

Personalization:   A        I didn’t get any “selfish” gifts. You know those. The ones we really want for ourselves but then we give them to our significant other and say it’s for “them.”

Sentiment:   B               He took Child #2 to the jewelry store to pick out a Pandora bead.

Hygiene:   A         Nail clippers and floss, too! Shark Girl is “cleaning up”!

This was a high-scoring year for Husband.

I hope you all had a lovely holiday and that your coming year is filled with the wonderful things money can’t buy: health, happiness, friendship, and intact joints.

Stay tuned . . . my next post is written by not one but two special guest bloggers! Oh, the suspense!




*Answer: Most likely both a) and b), but I’m hoping it’s just a).

4 comments:

  1. What did you get Wonderful Husband? What grade did he give you? Great haul... :)

    Try Tree of Life unsweetened cranberry concentrate in water. The sweet "cranjuices" don't do much - they are basically pink sugar water. Add echinacea and goldenseal tincture to the Tree of Life mix. If it's, like...a UTI that headed north.

    Happy New Year, Shark Girl. Looking forward to reading you in 2012!

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  2. Husband got an iPod Touch and a badger hair shaving brush plus accoutrement. He didn't grade me . . . yet, but he keeps complaining that I didn't get him the iPhone. He will be thrilled that he has readers "looking out for him"!
    Thanks for the cranberry tips. Hope your holiday was swell, too!

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  3. http://www.cafepress.ca/+my_mom_can_choke_out_your_mom_kids_light_tshirt,154706670 I was chuckling over some t-shirts this morning. Most of them are too "in your face"...I'd rather that ostensible attackers NOT know what I can do, and be unpleasantly surprised.

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    1. Good point . . . Surprise! Rear Naked Choke!

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