Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Summer . . . Interrupted

Well, I’ve been away from Jiu Jitsu for about a week. That makes me mad. Mad, I say. Mad with Hulk-like rage and anger.
Things were going well. Too well, if you know what I mean. My physical therapist had graduated me from my knee instability sessions, which were starting to bore me anyway. Their only saving grace was that the therapist watched The Food Network. Shark Girl, who lives without the magic of cable television, could drool over Ina Garten’s latest food fetish, or wonder why Rachael Ray didn’t seem quite as enthusiastic as she had in years past. Was it Botox keeping her from emoting over that swish of EVOO?
I had started my summer regimen of running, too. The miles were creeping up every week, and by golly, my middle-aged belly was starting to show signs of a kind of 6-pack, albeit one with some plushy insulating material around it, just to keep it cold.

And then it hit me: an elbow. Right at the back of the head. With a loud thwack. No pain. No spinning, just, well, weirdness.
I sat up to see the couple-next-door looking at me concernedly.
“Are you okay?”
“What happened?” Shark Girl asked.
“We rolled into you. Sorry!”
“Oh. I think so. I think I’m okay,” Shark Girl responded tentatively. “I’m not hurt. I’m not spinning. But something doesn’t feel right.”
Shark Girl went home.

“That’s it,” I said to Husband. “I’m done. I can’t do BJJ anymore.”
“No you’re not,” said Husband.
“Yes, I am. The universe is trying to tell me something. I can’t be doing this. I’m a freaking middle-aged woman with kids. I’m killing myself. Probably giving myself brain damage. I was fine and healthy before I started BJJ. Now it’s always something. It’s either a sprained finger, or an unexplained rash, or a storm of kidney stones, most likely jostled loose from some damn mat throw. Now I’ve gotten a concussion, probably. This is ridiculous. I’m too old for this. I should take up tai chi. I’m going to take up tai chi.”
“No, you’re not,” replied Husband, gently.
“Yes, I am. . . . Why not?”
“Because. You’d be bored.”
He’s right. That’s the problem. I’d be bored to death. I would die right in the middle of one of those graceful, peaceful, arcs of the arm. On the spot. Dead. Dead of boredom.
Which one will Shark Girl be?

But, what the fuck? A week after that fateful elbow thwack, here I am, feeling much more like myself, but experiencing strange head and neck twinges. Certain pitches rattle my left eardrum painfully and I have to keep yelling at my kids to stop yelling, even though they are using their indoor yelling voices, which wouldn’t usually faze me since I have pretty much given up on parenting.

Last week Husband forced me to see the doctor. “It will ease your mind,” he said.
After relaying some epic tale of his father having a strange household head injury that left him foaming at the mouth, the doctor proclaimed I had a “boo boo.” Yes, a “boo boo,” like I was a three-year old who skinned her knee on the playscape.

There is nothing that pisses me off more than interrupted training. I’m not good at taking time off. I’m even less good at relaxing. Why does this always happen to fucking Shark Girl? Why can’t tai chi be more interesting? Oh, well, I guess some mysteries will never be explained. And that’s why Shark Girl is so mad!!!


  1. Here's one perspective on this:

    It's taking worse and more unpredictable things to hurt you now.

    That means you're getting much, much better at not being hurt - which bodes well for any potential real world situations and also for the quality of your grappling.

    You're probably already very good at self-preservation due to the difficulties of being a woman in this world, so this process of mixing enjoyment/annoyances/hurt/joy is leveling you up to a pretty good state.

    But as always, it's okay to walk away for a while or permanently. It's your life and all I and other people can do is offer free/possibly unwanted advice while you live it.

    Also, I'm not usually a fan of gnocchi unless there's something unusual about it ie. pumpkin gnocchi.

  2. I feel your pain (well, not literally, that would hurt). Getting injured sucked, especially if the injury is enough to completely take you off the mats. Although admittedly I have never had to take extended time away from BJJ, as I've always been able to train around injuries so far.

    Also, gnocchi is amazing. I'm not sure where the topic came up, but regardless, everybody should be a fan of gnocchi. :D I have never met gnocchi I didn't like, although I was very sad that I couldn't eat some gnocchi in Croatia recently because something made my stomach hate me for a few days. It looked really huge and tasty too.

  3. I totally hear you! I'm finally getting into the groove of things, going 3 times per week on a consistent basis - 2 hour classes! Woo hoo! I keep being paranoid that SOMETHING will happen.

    I have had a person roll into my arm while I was basing out, effectively armbarring me. I have had a person grab my elbow while I was properly based out and PULL, rather than pull off my hand, which popped my elbow. I tried to jump rope and fell on my ankle. Oh, and that pesky herniated disc. Lovely.

    For short term injuries, I take time off. For longer, I come to class and watch.

    Good luck to you, Sharkgirl! Oh, and send me an address where I can send those gi pants. I'm only in the US until August 20ish.


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