Oh, my spouse. While Shark Girl tries to remain anonymous, Husband gains pleasure from outing me at every opportunity. Take our mortgage refinance closing yesterday afternoon. To most, a dull and dreary occasion filled with yawns and finger cramps. Not mine. The first part was rather monotonous. But then, something happened. 4-Year Old had to go to the bathroom. “I’ll take him!” I leapt up, happy to be out of the chair and to focus my bleary eyes on something other than a printed page. When I returned, Lawyer and Husband were discussing the next document to be signed.
“This one verifies that you do not use any other alias for legal purposes,” Lawyer informed me. Pause . . . Pause . . . Pause . . . “Like Shark Girl.”
I leave Husband for a two minute potty break and he has already discussed my secret blog with the closing lawyer? Sigh. I’m fighting a losing battle here.
Last night’s class continued our focus on armbars. We practiced some more complex ones that started from a Figure 4 and from the Turtle. Then we sparred.
One of my partners was a big guy who heretofore has gone easy on me. Last night he showed me just how easy. When I was in his guard he squeezed the stuffing out of me with his thighs. “This is what I would do with the other guys.” Well, I thank you not to do that with me because you’ll get a tap right there, Iron Legs. Your thigh is the size of my waist!
I must say, however, that I like to know the range--how hard someone is practicing against me versus how hard they could go. He squashed me to educate me, and I appreciate that on some strange level. He also did this because my classmates are advising me to spar more “mean,” I’ll call it. They say things like, “When you’re here, jab your elbow into his stomach because he’ll hate that.” “Put your hand across his face like that because it will bother him more.” “Really get your arm up into his throat because it will be very uncomfortable.” These are hard for me to do. It’s not that I’m “nice,” but I wouldn’t want someone to do that to me, so why would I do that to them?
My last spar of the night was with Slightly More Experienced White Belt. He’s a smaller guy and has about 35 lbs. on me. Last week he couldn’t submit me, but this week he trapped me in two armbars in a row. I hadn’t learned my lesson, so he started maneuvering for armbar #3. I managed to wriggle out and push him away. He hesitated for a split second with his back to me and I sprung upon it and landed the choke. Iron Legs was on the sidelines coaching me. SMEWB tapped. We disengaged, looked at each other, and burst out laughing. “I think I’m done,” I said. “I’m kind of tired.” There was no way I was going to ruin my moment with another armbar!