Friday night my boys and I (one husband, one 8-year old, one 4-year old) went to The Sports Authority to buy my first mouth guard. After I accidentally bashed my training partner in the mouth on Wednesday, I decided the mouth guard was necessary. You never know when payback is going to come. (Side Note: In reading all the bjj blogs out there, I see recurrent reference to the newbie spaz. Yep. That’s me. And that was me the night that poor, poor man got a knee in his teeth.)
My boys are proud that their mother and wife has started training Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. The little ones often shout for me to practice on my husband when I get home from class. My husband cringes with the recent memory of a practiced take-down onto the sunroom floor that left his bad back needing ibuprofen for several days. Despite this injury, he takes every chance he gets to drop my new hobby in conversation. In his head he is already composing a sermon on bjj (he’s a minister).
Given my boys’ feelings, they were all excited to accompany me to the Sports Authority to get the guard. The littlest had a sudden urge to use the bathroom, so me and my older son were directed over to the football section to browse mouth guards. We were greeted by Joe, a helpful salesman.
Me: I need to buy a mouth guard. I don’t know anything about them. Can you help?
Joe: [Looking at my son] Well, you just need to make sure that when he puts it in…
Me: Oh, it’s for me.
Joe: [Pause] . . . Oh. Okay. Well, can I ask what you need it for?
I purchased two (one for back up) and a case. Today I have to boil these gel babies and figure out how to form them to my teeth. I will christen one of them tomorrow night in my first class since Wednesday. Oh, no. Here come those butterflies again.