Monday, December 6, 2010

Consolation Prize

There's not much I can say after tonight's class except that I really suck. Really. I definitely understand more, but it's almost worse because I have some idea of what things should look like and I can see how sucky I am.

The guys are all nice, but let's face it, they want to improve their game, not work with the sucky girl. I know, I know, one can improve their game by breaking it down and helping a less skilled person. But it's definitely more fun to be challenged. When we switch partners, I look for someone who seems like they've just had a tough match. Hopefully they'll be in the mood for an easier go.
However much I feel like the consolation prize roll, I'm going until the end of March. I promise.

Thanks to the women's bjj community on-line. Reading your words and seeing your rolls help me keep going. There may be no other women in my area, but I know you're out there, and that means I can be out there, too.


  1. Don't worry, we have ALL been there in "I suck" land. Men and Women. None of us are immune. I daresay, many of us feel like we revisit "I suck" land quite a bit!....;) I have a t-shirt from that place.

    Being the only female in class can be a little daunting, but don't let it get you down. You sound like you are truly improving (understanding and seeing what you don't know, ug, conundrum) and you are putting your heart into class. These things show more than you realize. Trust me, you are not the consolation roll. You are showing up, putting on the gi and hitting the mat like everyone else.

  2. Dagney is right, we HAVE ALL been there. Glad to hear that you are still committed. Your consistency in training will show your training partners how serious you are and will reinforce your skills. One day you are going to surprise yourself with how much you can do.

  3. Yep, I feel like that frequently, which is why I've developed strategies for dealing with it (as I'm sure is the case for everyone else). For me, it is all about focusing on technique, as well as only ever measuring my progress against the 'me' of a week/month/year ago, rather than judging myself against anybody else.

    Long version here.

  4. I agree with what the others have said. And the guys in class have all been beginners at some point, and at that point they 'sucked' too. Just keep training and you will get better.

    You're doing great, you are already understanding and seeing how things should go.

  5. Thanks, all. It's good to know that even the seasoned ones on the mat may be feeling suckish, but I just don't recognize it. I suppose that, no matter what skill level we are at, when we really push ourselves we tread on "I suck" territory.

  6. I like to draw on my experience as a language teacher and language learner. When I was just a month or two into learning Russian, I could barely say "I have a family" and "How much does it cost." Yet I still talked to people.

    For me, sure, I get that I suck, but it's unrealistic for me NOT to suck. Same as I don't expect someone to be fluent or great or even good at English after 1 or 2 months.

    But that's where the personal connections come in. For me, it was about making friends. I always introduce myself to people and try to laugh with them. I have said it many times on my blog--I may be terrible, but I try to have fun.

    I also recommend checking out It's pretty darn female friendly and it's a good community. It can also help you get over the "I suck" blues when you read that EVERYONE has them, not just the women.

  7. @J: Hooray for language teachers! and thanks for the link.

  8. sometimes I feel like a little pillow the guys take a nap on in between rolls. ;)


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