Wednesday, December 15, 2010

I Love and I Hate

Returning from class on Monday all I could think about was a poem I first read way back in my high school Latin class. It’s by an ancient Roman named Catullus.

odi et amo. quare id faciam, fortasse requiris.
nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior.
[Catullus, 85]

In English this means:

I love and I hate. Perhaps you ask why I do this.
I do not know, but I feel it being done, and I am tortured.

Obviously I am having mixed emotions about my BJJ practice. How can I gain pleasure out of something that frightens me? How can something that seems insurmountable also at times be enjoyable?

I have decided to post a list of BJJ Loves and Hates that I will add to (maybe even cross out?) as my months progress.

Sweeping someone
Getting a heavy sweat on the gi
Getting stronger
Building confidence
Cracking jokes with my partners
Staying in shape through the running-less winter

Being picked last for partners
Awkward eye contact during partner-picking time
Getting my face crushed

Please let me know your Loves and Hates about BJJ, too.

On Sunday I ordered my husband’s Christmas present to me: a new gi. I can’t possibly launder my lone gi between Monday and Wednesday. I need at least two if I’m going to adhere to proper standards of hygiene. I got the Fenom in white. Can’t beat the price and I really like how there are no patches all over it like I’m some kind of race car. I thought about getting the black with pink. I chose the white because I’m not sure if my class is ready for the pink statement. Best to keep under the radar with all that girlie stuff until I’m feeling much more comfortable. Then, watch out! Pink gi and painted toenails!


  1. I'm gonna write on my blog the love hate's great idea...
    I will send it to you after, ok?

  2. Thanks, Mwana. I look forward to reading your loves and hates. Please send them my way when you are ready. Meanwhile I'll check out your site. Cheers!

  3. Keep building the confidence and 2 of the 3 hates will go away. Hang in there - I promise it will get easier.

  4. So, a new gi? Sounds to me like BJJ may stay around past that March timeline....;) Shark Girl is in luv!

  5. : ) : ) Well, a gal's gotta look her best, Dag, whether I go past March or not! That judo gi is giving me bubble butt!

  6. I LOVE my Fenom gi's. I got 2 of the Fenom Classic Gi - Black and I LOVE them. I picked up one of the Lotus White also, but it seems smaller than my Classics so I'm saving it for summer (and hoping to lose a few pounds). That works since the material of the Lotus is lighter than the Classic anyway.
    I'm with Dagney, sounds like someone might be sticking around past March...that Lotus will be great in the summer. :)

  7. Oh dear god I hated the partner picking time. I have written about that before and I always ended up feeling like the ugly nerd at the high school dance. My recommendation: BE QUICK! Pick FIRST! Thankfully my new instructor assigns us. It makes things a LOT less awkward.

    Love about BJJ:
    My gis
    My instructor
    BJJ blogs
    How physical it is
    Actually executing a move!
    How surprised people are when they find out I do it

    Hate about BJJ:
    Possible injuries--I'm really frightened of armbars
    Doing laundry

    Yeah--mostly scared of more injuries. I had a very aggressive armbar slapped on during a tournament and it took 4 months to heal. The wrist I rolled over on during sparring--5 months to heal. Ugh.

  8. @Julia: I WAS the ugly nerd @ the high school dance, but I never recognized it. This is painfully obvious! When I got picked last in gym class, I could pretend I didn't really want to play. Now I'm paying money to get socially traumatized!


Shark Girl Is Ready to Pull the Plug on Her "New" Gym

I need your jiu jitsu therapy again, o vast and all-knowing readers.  About a year Before Covid (BC), my native gym closed down--the one whe...